Be my Light
by celestialwhisperer
Summary: Jace and Clary could not be happier. They live together with their daughter, Lucie. But the events of one day will change that forever. Follow Jace as he slowly loses himself in his sadness, and the one event that will answer all of the questions bottled up inside him.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi peeps! Celestialwhisperer here, this time with a TMI fanfic!**

**Note that this ****fic takes place a few years after COHF. It will also be multi chapter.**

**Please read and enjoy!**

_How did this happen?_ Jace thought to himself as he held her lifeless body. The day had started out so normal…

**_That morning:_**

Clary watched as Jace pinky-promised their child Lucie for the eleventh time that he would come home from fighting demons without a scratch. She laughed to herself as she watched the five year-old give her father a sloppy kiss on the cheek before he walked out the door.

Clary closed her eyes and remembered that day years ago when she had told Jace she was pregnant, when she was 22. He had swooped her up in his arms and twirled her around before setting her down and calling Isabelle, Simon, and Alec.

"Mommy?"

Clary was pulled out of her reverie by a small tug on her jeans. She looked down and saw the large green eyes of her daughter.

"Mommy, can we make pancakes?" The mini-Clary asked.

Clary nodded and with a woop she scooped up a giggling Lucie and charged towards the kitchen.

Lucie drew in her sketchbook as her mommy flipped pancakes on the stove. She pushed the red crayon across the lines her purple crayon made and sat back, admiring her creation.

"Mommy! Mommy! I drew a new picture!" She exclaimed.

Clary looked over her shoulder while expertly flipping a pancake, a skill only parents could master. "It looks wonderful, honey! When we're done with breakfast we can hang it up!"

Lucie nodded as Clary continued making the pancakes. She wandered into the living room, where most as her stuffed plushes were kept. She reached for one as the front door broke apart in an explosion of splinters.

LINE BREAK

Jace grinned as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. The demon lying at his feet had been almost too easy to take down, as were his friends. He had cornered the demons in an ally and taken them down, one by one.

Jace reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. It was around this time that he checked in with Clary, just to make sure she was okay. After it rang for a couple of seconds, it went to voicemail. He called two more times after that. Now Jace was starting to get concerned. Clary usually had her phone in her pocket or right next to her.

Jace started running in the direction of his home. Something was up.

JUST ANOTHER LINE BREAK

Clary managed to shield Lucie from the pieces of wood flying up in the air with her body. A few hit her back and Clary saw red for a few seconds as her vision cleared.

She looked around and spotted a creature standing in a giant hole that used to be the front door. It was much taller then she was, almost three times the size of her. It had the face of a crocodile and giant antennae sticking out behind a pair of horse ears. Swaying back and forth behind it was a long serpent-like tail with a sharp tip.

"Lucie," Clary urged. "Go and hide in mommy's closet and _stay there_!"

Lucie nodded and ran off.

Clary shakily stood up and grabbed a seraph blade from one of the shelves that lined the wall.

"_Samael"_ she whispered to it.

The blade cast a small circle of light around Clary. She saw the remains of the living room furniture littered around her.

Suddenly, a giant tail swept towards her and knocked her off her feet. Clary fell to the floor with a painful thud and scrambled for her fallen seraph blade as a claw came down towards her. She rolled to the side as it struck the ground beside her.

Clary's eyes widened as she saw the sharp tip of the creature's tail come towards her. She raised her arms to defend herself, but she wasn't fast enough.

The tail impaled her in the chest and through her heart. The creature pulled it's tail back and quickly scuttled away, away from the apartment and the dying form of Clary.

Jace burst into the apartment a few minutes after the demon left. He quickly surveyed the damage the demon had left before spotting Clary lying on the floor.

"_No_"

He dropped to his knees and gathered her near-lifeless form in his lap.

"_Clary!_" he cried out in anguish.

"J-J-ace?" Clary managed to choke out.

Jace cradled her head in his arms.

"We need an iratze… no that won't work." The light in Clary's eyes slowly dimmed. "Stay with me._Stay with me dammit!_" Jace yelled.

"_I l-love yo-"_ Clary coughed up blood, splattering the sides of her mouth. She took one, slow, shaky, breath and then died in Jace's arms.

Jace pressed his face in the crook of Clary's neck as he sobbed quietly.

_If I had just stayed home._

**NOTE: Clary isn't "dead dead", but in the meantime she is just "dead."**

**Whoever can get my Infernal Devices reference gets their real name used in the coming chapters!**

**Don't forget to favorite, follow, and review as well as figure out the reference!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am so sorry for the crap update schedule, I promise to get better. If you haven't already, and you are a Maximum Ride fan, please check out my other story, Fax Drabbles. I have a better update schedule for that, and I've gotten great feedback on it.**

**Note: this chapter takes place seven years later, so Jace would be thirty-five and Lucie would be twelve.**

_Jace watched as the demon's tail impaled itself over and over again in Clary's chest. He struggled to move forward, to somehow protect her, but it was as if his feet had turned into concrete._

_"Clary! No!"_

_He watched in horror as the demon began to consume Clary, eating at her dead form._

_"Momma!"_

_Jace turned his head to see his five year old daughter run toward the demon. The demon didn't even blink it's lifeless black eyes as it's tail shot and and impaled itself in Lucie's chest. After the demon finished eating Clary, it began to pick at Lucie._

_Jace crumpled to his knees, devastated by the horrid scene. A high pitched scream met his ears, one like he had never heard before, getting louder, louder, lou-_

Jace woke with a start, covered in sweat that made his shirt stick to his chest. He sighed. It was only a dream.

Jace had been having the same dream each night since that fateful night seven years ago. He had never told anyone about them, not even Isabelle or Alec.

His mind flashed back to that dark time, replaying the afternoon in his head. After finding Lucie in the closet him and Clary had shared, he called Alec, who was at that time the new head of the New York Institute. Alec, Isabelle, Magnus, and about half of the Clave rushed over immediately, leaving Simon at the Institute to (a- keep him from hyperventilating and to (b- keep the kids from hyperventilating **(that's right folks, Sizzy and Malec babies)**.

All three of Clary's closest friends had different reactions.

Isabelle had been the first one to get to the apartment, and when she arrived she had crumpled to her knees, sobbing. After a minute or two of crying, she gathered Jace and Lucie into a bone-crushing hug. Then Alec and Magnus arrived.

Alec had stood still in shock for a few minutes. Eventually he sat down on their battered couch and put his head in his heads, not saying anything. It was eventually Magnus who had managed to coax instructions out of Alec.

Magnus was the only one of the three who kept his cool. After seeing Clary, he tipped his head back and closed his eyes, whispering words that Jace could not hear. Then he moved and gathered Clary in his arms and laid her on the dining room table. He quickly checked her pulse and her blood level, only finding more confirmation that she was, in fact, beyond even his power of saving.

During the whole commotion, Lucie stood silently in the corner of the room. She did not fully understand, and eventually went and tugged on Isabelle's dress. Isabelle's eyes widened, remembering that there was a child still in the room. She took Lucie to Lucie's room and packed a few things in an overnight bag, then announced that Lucie would stay at the Institute.

While Isabelle made arrangements with Jace, Lucie's eyes scanned the room. Her gaze was met with pitiful glances and sorrowful stares, but not the loving eyes of her Momma. Where was she? She was there when a big _thing_ burst through the door, but now she was nowhere to be seen. All Lucie saw was men and women in black gear peering at something covered in red stuff on the dining room table.

Lucie moved forward, unnoticed by any of the adults, to get a better look.

Lucie stuck her hand forward toward the _something_, feeling for anything. As she moved her hand back and forth, she felt something terribly familiar. _Hey! This thing feels like Momma's hair! When I find Momma, I'm gonna tell her!_ she thought to herself.

She was broken out of her thoughts by a gasp, which came from Isabelle, who immediately picked Lucie up and took her to her car. After strapping Lucie into a booster seat, she took off, speeding through traffic.

"Iggy?"

Isabelle smiled at Lucie in her rearview mirror. Iggy was Lucie's nickname for her, since Lucie didn't know how to pronounce her z's.

"Where's my Momma?"

Isabelle struggled for an answer.

"Well, you see-" she was quickly interrupted.

"Do you think Chris and Phoebe and Max and baby Grace will play dolls with me?"

Isabelle silently thanked God that Lucie's one track mind saved her from being the one to tell poor Lucie the news about her mom.

When they finally arrived at the Institute, Isabelle called everyone for a house meeting.

That meant that Simon, Chris and Phoebe (Sizzy kids), and Max, who held baby Grace through the meeting(adopted Warlock Malec kids), met in the library with Isabelle and Lucie.

"Lucie will be staying with us for a while, so let's all try and get along. Simon, honey, take her bag and show her to a room, I have to talk to the kids." Simon nodded mutely and led Lucie out of the room.

"Okay, I have something to announce," Isabelle said with such authority that all three children sat up in their seats, and Grace even woke up from her nap in Max's arms. "Clary is- Clary has… passed. So to make it easier for Lucie, please be extra nice, okay?"

**So that chapter was just a wrap up of Chapter One.**

**Ages of Sizzy/Malec/Clace kids (as of chapter one):**

**Lucie: 5**

**Chris: 6**

**Phoebe: 4**

**Max: 7**

**Grace: 1**

**Ages as of beginning of chapter two/current time:**

**Lucie: 12**

**Chris: 13**

**Phoebe: 11**

**Max: 14**

**Grace: 8**

**I also want to point out that the three families don't see themselves as related, though the kids may use terms like aunt and uncle in further chapters. I say this because I was thinking of creating a romance between two of the kids, to make it kind of comparable to Jules's and Emma's relationship.**

**In this chapter I have left TID references, so if you figure them out, please say so!**

**Okay, don't forget to follow, favorite, and review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Before I start, I want to get the descriptions of the kiddies out of the way.**

**Lucie:**

**Frizzy red hair, emerald green eyes**

**Petite and clumsy**

**Stubborn and sassy, but also sensitive**

**A total tomboy**

**Chris:**

**Jet black hair, bright blue eyes**

**Somewhat developing muscular frame (c'mon, he's thirteen) and graceful**

**Sweet and caring, but brutally honest**

**Best friends with Lucie**

**Phoebe:**

**Chestnut brown hair, with dark chocolate colored eyes**

**Medium sized and flexible**

**Self-confident and ambitious, but a HUGE diva**

**A bit of a loner**

**Max:**

**Darker skinned, with sparkly blue hair, and orange cat-like eyes**

**A little plump (Magnus likes to spoil him)**

**Secluded, but very gracious and polite**

**Cold to everyone around him but his sister, Grace**

**Grace:**

**Terribly pale, with a lion's tale and blonde hair with gray eyes.**

**Because of the condition Grace was found in, she cannot move her legs, so she is restrained to a wheelchair, but is quite the daredevil**

**A little self-conscious**

**So now you know what they look like. Bam boom bim.**

**So in this one, I want to introduce the relationship between each of the characters as well as start off with the rising action.**

_Thunk, thunk, thunk._

Lucie watched numbly as the three knives she had thrown hit the middle of the target of the room.

Lucie had been like this all morning, her eyes glazed over and a withdrawn expression on her face.

It had been seven years. _Seven years_ since that horrendous afternoon.

After learning about the death of her mother Lucie had moved to the Institute to live with the Lightwoods and the Lewises. Jace had moved there as well, but was rarely home to be noticed as a resident.

For a few years, Lucie had kept to herself, going for weeks without speaking. But one day, Chris Lightwood had snapped her out of it, offering to teach her how to properly throw a knife. From that day on, the two were practically glued together at the hip. Where Lucie went, Chris followed, and vice versa.

While Lucie went to retrieve her knife from the target, she noticed someone join her in the training room.

"Er, It's nice to see that your knife throwing skills have improved." Jace complemented quietly.

"Thanks dad."

Jace stood there awkwardly for a moment before speaking again.

"So I hear that there are a couple of demons hanging out around Central Park. I'm going to go check it out. Tell Izzy I'll be home before dinner." Jace announced awkwardly, before turning his heel and exiting the room.

Lucie didn't mind that her dad didn't ask how she was or tell her goodbye anymore. She was used to the quick, awkward conversations they had. She had given up along time ago hoping that the topic of their conversations would be something other than demonhunting.

As Lucie made her way downstairs to change, she accidentally ran into someone.

"Oops, sorry-"

She looked up and saw Chris's vibrant blue eyes staring down at her concernedly **(is that a word?)**.

Lucie's cheeks turned a light pink when Chris put his hands on her shoulders, warmth emitting from them, seeping through her clothes and making her heart do jumping jacks in her chest.

"Careful there, Luce. Why the rush?" Chris asked, trying to meet her eyes with his.

When she didn't answer, Chris sighed. "Well, Mom wants us to get ready for dinner. See you in couple minutes?"

Lucie nodded mutely and pushed past Chris, making a mad dash for her room.

Once she crossed the doorframe into her room, she slammed the door closed and leaned against it, slowly sliding down to the floor.

She reached up and put her hand to her cheek, feeling the warmth emitting from her face. _What in Raziel's name is happening to me? _**(hormones honey, welcome to puberty)**

**(insert line break here)**

Jace stood in awe at the demon towering over him. It had a head of a duck and the scales of a serpent with the claws of a bear. It was unlike anything he had ever seen!

He took a running start towards it, jumping into the air and flipping onto it's back.

Just as he was about to deliver the killing blow with his seraph blade, he heard a strangely familiar voice call out.

"Anatis!"

_That voice, it was so familiar…_

Jace turned, and his eyes immediately widened.

It was Clary.

Clary, the girl he had fallen madly in love with. The girl who was one of the only people to make him laugh for a long long time. The girl with the head of flaming red hair and the sparkling green eyes.

But something was wrong.

Clary's eyes, which were once a beautiful emerald color that shone even in the dark, were now completely black, the color of obsidian.

Jace dropped down from the creature's back, running to the girl he had not seen in a grand total of seven years.

He stopped a few feet away from Clary, staring at her and taking her in.

She looked as she did many years ago, petite but stubborn. She was dressed in normal Shadowhunter gear, but instead of black, it was a dark blood red.

"Clary…" he whispered sadly.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" she said, smiling cruelly.

**(insert another line break)**

The Lightwoods, Lewises, and Lucie were gathered around the dinner table, picking at servings of burnt ravioli made by Izzy, when Jace burst in, breathless.

Simon immediately rose from his seat, secretly thankful for the excuse not to eat.

"Hey man, what's wrong? You look like Luke after figuring out Leia was his sister," Simon asked, truly concerned (but not concerned enough to not throw in a Star Wars reference, as well as throw in a reference as to when Jace thought Clary was his sister).

"I saw- I saw.." Jace stuttered, choking up.

"Spit it out!" Izzy exclaimed.

"I SAW CLARY!"

**Okay my lovelies, I leave it at that. I hope you enjoy the plot twist I hinted at in the end of the first chapter!**

**As always, don't forget to follow, favorite, and review!**

**Trying to figure out an update schedule,**

**celestialwhisperer**


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